"For God did not send His Daughter into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Her might be saved." Updated John 3:17 (The Next Testament)
Ilona Ann Coggswater is the daughter of God, and Jesus' little sister. She is (immaculately conceived) and born in Cooperstown, NY in 1970 and the doctor who delivered her writes a tell-all. In fact, most everyone she meets writes a tell-all. Ilona's easy celebrity tends to upset society as we know it. She likes Elvis Costello and the Replacements and Patti Smith, and because of this, these artists dominate the charts.
When Ilona reveals herself as God's Daughter in the late 1980's, she of course isn't welcomed by all.
Liberals love her and her breezy ways, but the NRA and the Pro-Lifers conspire against her.
She meets with the Pope and corrects centuries of Catholic policy on, well, everything: divorce, homosexuality, birth control... a forty page transcript of the meeting is sent out to every diocese. Women are permitted to be ordained.
Ilona goes on David Letterman with her model/bartender roommate Stephanie, and tries to explain to the world that we all just need a little more kindness. "Be Kind" is her message to the world.
She signs an endorsment deal with Tab (the diet cola, which she can TRANSFORM water into) and donates the proceeds to Greenpeace and Planned Parenthood.
She's very sexy, but in a non-stuck-up way.
This was a quick read, and I can see how 20 years ago, it might have seemed wittier than it really is. There are some interesting gender-bends going on, but it just felt too... liberal, I guess is the word I want to use. Don't get me wrong, I would love if she were my Savior, but her targets are predictable and tired.
Maybe if I had read it on a beach...
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