CR2: Book 18 Vox by Nicholson Baker

"You'll love this, it's about phone sex," the woman with the sweatpants said, "I couldn't put it down!"

And somewhere between that interaction and the end of this book (which took a mere 8 hour shift to slog through), I wished I'd never told my customers about the Cannonball Read. I'd thought that in doing so, I'd get books donated that were outside of my comfort zone. But this, this Vox, was a gigantic waste of my normal dicking-around time. I've read better erotica in Playgirl.

The whole book is a conversation, with hardly a 'he said, she said' in sight. There is no plot, no moving along from A to B, just a million and one tangents that made me want to scream.

So, we start out having just left group chat at some 900-number. Jim and Abby liked each other's voice and decide to go talk in private. "What are you wearing?" he asks. And just like that, Abby starts babbling. And she never shuts the fuck up.

And Jim retorts with randomness and is a stupid moron.

That's it. That's the damn book.
Oh yeah, they "try" to talk sexy, but keep getting sidetracked with ridiculous getting-things-from-the-kitchen or expounding on someone's personal ad or discussing how much a shirt cost (for PAGES) or doing weird things like going on-and-on about genitalia in the most unsexy verbage possible. Jim traces his cock on a piece of paper. Abby pours a Diet Coke. Jim describes something near his balls. Abby talks about some invention or other she got that holds paperback novels in place.

And it never stops. And who talks like this? And how much is this call going to cost?

I've HAD phone sex. GOOD phone sex.
This was nowhere near what should pass for vulgarity.
Skip it.